people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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