just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
