a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
