The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
