everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You left your phone here
Wait...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
