We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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