Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
