He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
