I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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