I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
