where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
