Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
