Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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