Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
