I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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