You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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