the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
