i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize