I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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