butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
