I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
