No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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