And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
