I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
