my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
