yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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