we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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