just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
