There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
