i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize