ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
