just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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