is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
