he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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