Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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