JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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