So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
