shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize