we're blogging at a bar
I just saw a hot homeless man
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she peed on how many people?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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