Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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