We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
