Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The air was thick with penises
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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