He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
