Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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