There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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