i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
