I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont even know how to be here
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
