I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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