does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
