did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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