found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
