I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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