Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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