as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
