yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
