Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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