Soap is not a condiment
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
