Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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