the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
