all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
